i have spent two days this week reviewing two boxes overflowing with headlines which i once thought i'd use in my collage work. imagine the time it took me to "read" the papers that way...after all were done with them, that is ! it came naturally to me by seeing the double meanings and all the ways the words were meant for playing but weren't...no matter how closely they were set.
when did my addiction begin? looking back, i believe i had my first "rip fix" before i did the pleasure of masturbating...long before becoming a man at 13! maybe that is why i have never felt any difference between the creative act (which is always a spiritual one in my mind anyway) and the erotic one (any way)...coming like an artful expression, out of my mind!
i know i havent ripped any news up of late, (not physically, anyway!) however the occasional candy wrapper on the street is still picked up...with playfulness in mind, yet i have not been lacking in my erotic undertakings one bit! underlining my creations forever it seems now, is no doubt the desire for recognition ( i'm an artist, what's your excuse?) to wit : "see how brilliant i am !"
i needed that ( like most artist's in sight) since i wasnt for playing with the "how to succeed in business" route which my brothers were getting off on...go know, i'm still not!
the two above mentioned boxes are just the tip of "the iceberg hits the headline" story.
in some way, "having (all that) stuff" kept me grounded, kept me here. god knows where i'd be without it...however now i mean to find out! i know i needed to get to this point to recognize, acknowledge, and ulti-mately feel it no longer serves me...never mind i havent done anything with it, but move it from one place to another...i'm OK! - there are worse things to drag about...like empty hearts, and hateful minds!
i just sent a "found poem" from my fodder to my earth angel who is assisting me with "letting go"... in actuality, "lift off" is in my face! upon realizing i may have saved even more than jesus, she just delivered my next lesson ( and i am sharing it for the highest good of all - the reason all art is ):
here's a question: what are you choosing that you could be truly loosin' ...that if you lost it, it would change all realities and non-realities and manifest as the pure, radiant YOU in bliss, and your dream life - beyond your imagination - with total ease?
what are you refusing, that you could be truly choosin' ... that if you chose it . it would change all realities and non-realities and manifest as you BEing, receiving and Knowing YOU?
LIKE, WOW, WHO COULD ASK FOR ANYTHING MORE? (what a present!!)
love you got
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