I AM STILL HERE

i am still here, waiting for god, my prime mover, to move me

...down under (or over the rainbow)

i thought by now, i'd be in tassie - no april foolin' around! evidently that is not in the divine plan for now.

trust and patience i have heard does the trick...so "do me, do me" i am now putting out for heaven to hear... (never mind "next year in jerusalem")!  if its true that good things come to those who wait, it has to be fucking good what i will be getting!!

sometime back in oct i wrote an "art-tickle" about the tolled end of our daze..."coming to a mental theater nearer you than god"... real soon! besides my pilgrimage story {titled "enlightenment with laughter" which is also how i have been signing off for what seems like an eternity}of waiting for the space ships that never came (never mind my friends singing, "they're coming to take you away...")[ its hard to fit a a straight jacket on a gay man, you know!] in 1987 (reading that aztec calendar was after all then like reading a rolling stone still gathering the lost tribe...) i also wanted to say that if it did happen, i wanted to make sure for one last time i got to communicate "happy valentines day", "happy april fools", "i love you"...so there!

well, go know,i did, and  i am still here! christmas, valentines day and april fools too have come and gone!!

and yesterday some celebrated jesus riding his ass into the city of peace.

does a butterfly have any idea what its previous self had to go through? would it be one it if it knew what must come to pass in order to become one?  "hey, i think i will just pull up a leaf and wait for god knows what to come"..."( i ) pulled into nazareth , half past late..." begins the song "the weight", sung by the band, but the rarely heard arrangement i love best is done by the rotary connection. i still space out hearing the first few bars opening the doors to my perception of being somewhere else - even without playing the record! like i can be centered in god, and loving it,( whats not to love?") however i do know with just one false move into a thought less than light - BAM! and man,  i'll tell ya, the fall out is hell! (for this reason inside my smoking jacket i carry a body size rubber mat and a fire extinguisher!!) 

pardon me while i finish de-frosting my freezer.

{god, what on earth were those red slippers doing in there?}

back to that art-tickle ...it got picked up by a goddess and who put it on her in site which got a few ETs knocking at my pc, plus an angel, who got me to rite more. {the last laugh is always shared by the fool's sheep.}

yesterday i was up in my meditation room at the zendo dada and looking over my fabric collection from the maya...alas, moths had come early for their last supper. i was gifted to see the opposite of weaving could be either "being eaten" or "coming undone". when i was eaten this morning, i came undone... but my treasured weavings on the other hand could only be both, and the more devastating of the two interpretations!

my beautiful quetzalcoatl rug from mitla mexico, woven by my "abuelita" was now almost a shroud, and no longer up for tourin....maybe those moth balls were like spanish fly to those conquestedoring horny and hungry moths, going at the woven plumed serpent looking like many of my relatives like chickens without their heads at the chicken liver molded into a larger than life chicken at a bar mitzvah buffet...before the dinner!

again, like a plague i am forced to confront...did i save it for it to come to this?

would i have been too busy packing up all my egyptian souvenirs to miss the only ride out to the red sea with moses?

if i had no processions ( this is totally laughable, right now!) i would be in tassie already.

i know i must stop riding my ass for all that i have and love...but  i do know, this iron butterfly door stop will be the first to go at the garage sale...coming soon!

love you got