SURRENDER DOROTHY

if i only had those shoes

i wouldnt have to be going through all that

 i am, emptying out my house

love you got

THE BEST IS YET TO COME...

!

one

must face

 every move like

a death,  like a rebirth

knowing the best is yet to come .

there is no beginning or end  in taking in

this mirth  - like some kind of spiritual dividend -

for being here on earth

for when one is one

with god, one can be

by  god,  anywhere

and  intuit : it will

not   matter  one

bit  whatsoever 

now forever more!

love  you got

JESUS RISING

                                       WHY IS THIS MATZOH (apparently) DIFFERENT ?

with jesus being this agent of rising to wit

its as if my matzoh is flying ;

now its  simply up to me

to have him

be

the one

to make me

in Reality so filled with such levity

  that nothing more will matter than getting to tassie!

love you got

KEEP THE CHEF IN SHEFFIELD

i am outstanding in my field ... cooking up creations

which are out of this world ,

however the question

still remains how

do i get it all

there

?

i

now

could be out

standing anywhere

 on this eARTh and still just Be wanting

 to go Down Under where my heART on tassie is full of wonder.

   the mural fest is on right now, and sheffied no doubt is missing two guests :

never mind "next year in jerusalem", i request in sheffield may we be!

this divine art piece above belongs to andrew

who drew it with love and just

as  i am drawn to his art

tassie is drawing

me

love you got



THE NIGHT BEFORE PASSOVER

{not "bell, book, and candle"!}

i know there must be a name for tonight...when i dropped out on my way to becoming a rabbi, i let go of all that stuff!

hell's kitchen is not jerusalem, however one does see a variety of ethnic groups here still.

on my walk with ram dass (the dog, not the guru...well, he is my guru in reality, the way he loves me unconditionally!) each morning i pass a few moslem woman walking their kids to school, as well as the few hassids (which spell check wanted to correct to "hay seeds"!) who seem to have strayed from the diamond district.

there is one older one in particular who i have been acknowledging with a nod for several years.  he always looks down (at the pavement)...maybe he is shy or timid, or go know, looking for collage material the way i still do occasionally. he always carries a brief case in one hand and small black bag in the other. it is this one that reminds me of the ones moils (official circumcisers) use...yes, i remember this "bris kit", above all ( and keep a safe distance...even if its his lunch box) !

one day a few months ago,  he "noticed" me...and started to respond to my "good morning"s with a smile. last week he actually stopped and touched me on the arm saying, "one day we need to talk."

although we come from the same tribe (  if we sat down to discuss from where we have come, before we'd be getting back to adam, we'd find a common relative, no doubt) i  however no longer identify with those old religious customs and beliefs...but my roots are my roots! i was never orthodox. i was brought up as a conservative, and yet now nothing can reform me any more than i am, for i am more like a "jew- bu" (a jewish buddist ), if anything - at one with all!

i do remember some observances.

[ i also remember the first time i ate bread on passover , as well as eating chopped liver on yom kippor, and  having bacon with cheese  (a double no-no ) and not being struck down by lightening! dating a shicksa was a bit different, dating a goy boy  trickier, but dating a rabbi - oy, dont ask! ]

so on the night before passover, after all one's dishes ( for both meat and dairy, as well as any items that are not "kosher for passover" ) have been "sold" to a non-jew (until the end of the holiday when they are bought back) one goes around the home looking for any bread crumbs (that might have been over looked by the search party from the land of milk and honey) with a candle, a feather, and a wooden spoon. talk about a ritual for getting rid of stuff! to my mind, this is going overboard ( although, on the other side, i do have a few elderly black lady friends who worked as domestics, who tell me they got a whole new set of pots and pans, and dishes from their employers when they forget the change over)!

and so i got together the items in the above photo, put them in a beautiful sheer white bag with this poem, and when i saw my distant relative this i did pass over (the above and below) to him:

                                                             Happy Passover

                                                             a little gift

                                                             with which

                                                             to clean up

                                                             whatever chumutz * remains

                                                             with a prayer to wit

                                                             that The One above might                                        

                                                             do with the Earth's schmutz ** 

                                                             the same, with Love.

and when i gave it to him, his eyes lit up like christmas trees, go know!

*      anything with a leavening agent

**    dirt

love you got

ps: on this day did i also pass over to my moslem woman friend a book for her childern all about egypt, her homeland. either the gods of egypt and israel love me for embracing each one, or love me for just the rite side of my brain...as a half wit; in any case, how can i go amiss  - and if i have, dear god, hold the plagues, please, until i have risen!

I AM STILL HERE

i am still here, waiting for god, my prime mover, to move me

...down under (or over the rainbow)

i thought by now, i'd be in tassie - no april foolin' around! evidently that is not in the divine plan for now.

trust and patience i have heard does the trick...so "do me, do me" i am now putting out for heaven to hear... (never mind "next year in jerusalem")!  if its true that good things come to those who wait, it has to be fucking good what i will be getting!!

sometime back in oct i wrote an "art-tickle" about the tolled end of our daze..."coming to a mental theater nearer you than god"... real soon! besides my pilgrimage story {titled "enlightenment with laughter" which is also how i have been signing off for what seems like an eternity}of waiting for the space ships that never came (never mind my friends singing, "they're coming to take you away...")[ its hard to fit a a straight jacket on a gay man, you know!] in 1987 (reading that aztec calendar was after all then like reading a rolling stone still gathering the lost tribe...) i also wanted to say that if it did happen, i wanted to make sure for one last time i got to communicate "happy valentines day", "happy april fools", "i love you"...so there!

well, go know,i did, and  i am still here! christmas, valentines day and april fools too have come and gone!!

and yesterday some celebrated jesus riding his ass into the city of peace.

does a butterfly have any idea what its previous self had to go through? would it be one it if it knew what must come to pass in order to become one?  "hey, i think i will just pull up a leaf and wait for god knows what to come"..."( i ) pulled into nazareth , half past late..." begins the song "the weight", sung by the band, but the rarely heard arrangement i love best is done by the rotary connection. i still space out hearing the first few bars opening the doors to my perception of being somewhere else - even without playing the record! like i can be centered in god, and loving it,( whats not to love?") however i do know with just one false move into a thought less than light - BAM! and man,  i'll tell ya, the fall out is hell! (for this reason inside my smoking jacket i carry a body size rubber mat and a fire extinguisher!!) 

pardon me while i finish de-frosting my freezer.

{god, what on earth were those red slippers doing in there?}

back to that art-tickle ...it got picked up by a goddess and who put it on her in site which got a few ETs knocking at my pc, plus an angel, who got me to rite more. {the last laugh is always shared by the fool's sheep.}

yesterday i was up in my meditation room at the zendo dada and looking over my fabric collection from the maya...alas, moths had come early for their last supper. i was gifted to see the opposite of weaving could be either "being eaten" or "coming undone". when i was eaten this morning, i came undone... but my treasured weavings on the other hand could only be both, and the more devastating of the two interpretations!

my beautiful quetzalcoatl rug from mitla mexico, woven by my "abuelita" was now almost a shroud, and no longer up for tourin....maybe those moth balls were like spanish fly to those conquestedoring horny and hungry moths, going at the woven plumed serpent looking like many of my relatives like chickens without their heads at the chicken liver molded into a larger than life chicken at a bar mitzvah buffet...before the dinner!

again, like a plague i am forced to confront...did i save it for it to come to this?

would i have been too busy packing up all my egyptian souvenirs to miss the only ride out to the red sea with moses?

if i had no processions ( this is totally laughable, right now!) i would be in tassie already.

i know i must stop riding my ass for all that i have and love...but  i do know, this iron butterfly door stop will be the first to go at the garage sale...coming soon!

love you got

APRIL SHOWers BRING MAY FLOWers

a bit over the top

so

if one is

going to put on a show,

 and tell that koan about what

may flowers may bring after april has her

showing us who's holding the reins, could one say that

more than the pilgrims coming, may delivers the may tricks?

so to wit i am becoming more and more a ware of all

that i knead i already have in hand, or i am

 game to find that i have it coming to me - 

leaving me wet & wild for playing

with my april shower cap

on like a fool out

of his mind

love you got